Mistake 1: We misinterpret the attentions of the Opposite sex.
Often times, due to desperation and frustration in getting a lover/partner, many singles overreact to any attention from somesone of the opposite sex, especially if that person is attracted to them. For instance, as a lady, if a man looks at you twice, you can read all kinds of thingas into it. Also as a guy,if a lady sits by you at a social function, he may think she's sending him come-ons.
These advances have one of two effects: We like the personand respond positively, or we think he or she is being pushy and run the other way, depending upon whether we're attracted to that person or not.
I've seen cases where singles have made fools of themselves by misinterpreting some attention & hanging on to a person like a leech.
Here are some practical rationalizations singles exhibit:
Have you fallen into them before?
"Yes; but he talked with me for over fifteen minutes. He didn't have to talk with me that long. I'm sure he really likes me."
"But you didn't see how she looked at me. A woman doesn't look at you like that if she's not sending a signal. I'm sure she wants to see me."
This misinterpretation of attention is one of the major reasons many singles find it hard to get into a meaningful relationship because they have always been fallen into the wrong girl or guy.
Many at times a lady may hang on too long in a relationship with a guy that maltreats herand play her like a puppet. The guy would lead her on to think he was getting serious about marriage, and then start dating somesone else and flaunting it. He would say things to her that were very cruel, intentionally hurting her. The guy kept abusing the relationship any way he pleased.
Insead of ending the relationship immediately, the lady kept taking him back, not even voicing her displeasure with his behaviour; afraid to do anything that would cause him to leave for good. This is one the mistakes that ladies commit in a relationship.
If you are in a relationship and you're being treated with disrespect, thoughtlessness, or unkindness; that's a good sign you're hung on too long and put up with too much. If you're hoping he or she will change, you don't know too much about human nature. As long as he or she can get by with treating you shabbily; there's not likely to be much change in his/her behavior.
Mistake 3: We're Not Always Very Good at Reading Danger Signals in a Relationship.
I often see single people in relationship having poor choice written all over them. When our emotions get involved in a situation, it's very easy to lose perspective. Someone once said to me that "Emotions and Feelings have zero IQ", and I think that's a good thing to remember. Those juices get flowing in you; those romantic notions start whirling around in your head and you can lose perspective in an instant.
Here are few of those danger signals you should note:
- Different family Upbringing: It's a fact that no two families are alike, so there are bound to be differences in any two families. But always look at the basics: What values were taught by the families? What kind of relationship exists among the family members? Some families are very close & some are not.
- Different cultural interests: You may be oriented toward classical interests while she is oriented toward more faddish and contemporary interests. It may cause a problem.
- Different Attitude Toward Children: Some people love them and want them around others prefer to admire them from a distance and are not comfortable with children. It's very important to make sure you are compatible in this area.
A.A..
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